Saturday, January 05, 2008

The Special Mother

Drew's mom posted this on Drew's blog recently and I wanted to share it with you. I have read it several times and it never fails to bring tears to my eyes.

The Special Mother -by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will never consider a "step" ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."

The fact that Ethan is able to walk is not something that we take for granted. Cmv is heinous. And when my deaf boy does say his first word, especially "momma", every inch of me will understand that a miracle has taken place.


Drew's Mom said...

I'm glad you found this piece as touching as I did. It is nice to be able to have the perspective needed to appreciate everything your child does.

I never commented on my feelings about this on Drew's blog. I have often wondered why this happened to me because I didn't feel I had the patience needed at times to handle the situation. Apparently, my lack of patience is a virture - at least in this setting.

Jennifer said...

Heather, Ethan's very lucky to have you for his mom. I saw on an adoption blog today where a prospective mom turned down a referral because the baby was deaf (ouch). We don't all get to choose the "perfect" children that we want. I was lucky to have one of those tireless mothers that wanted the best for me and didn't give up until she got it...and that's what Ethan has...lucky little boy!
The day that Ethan says Mama, we will all be rejoicing with you...he has touched so many hearts!

La La said...

Lovely. Ethan is one lucky little boy to have you as his mom.

Blessings to you! Thanks for sharing this.

flutter said...

You two were meant to be for eachother. These blessings born of trials, these celebrations.

Oh how beautiful this was.

Kellan said...

I have never read this piece - I just loved it - I still have tears streaming down muy cheeks.

I truly believe that God chooses the child for each home - for each mother - I have always believed that! I believe that we all have our own special tests - special children. I loved this - thanks for sharing it - you are truly blessed because you have been specifically chosen - what a gift.

See you soon. Kellan

leahlefler said...

Very touching. It is true- the ordinary miracles of life so often overlooked are NEVER taken for granted when you have a little one who has had to struggle. Every moment, every new thing they do, is a gift.

Kyla said...

I love this.

Eileen said...

Heather, This is so beautiful, it makes me want to cry. You were born to be Ethan's mother, and what a wonderful, amazing mother you are. I have known that from the very second I found your blog.
Thank you for sharing this and thank you for being you.

Shari said...

I have given thought to why God choses people to have a certain disability, but very little to the parents though I do think about those who adopt disabled children. They chose to care for the child.

The post was very touching.

slouching mom said...

Thank you for posting this. I hadn't read it before. It's incredibly moving.

Beck said...

Oh, that made me get all teary-eyed. A beautiful perspective and I just love Erma Bombeck.

Sarah said...

Great post Hetha!

When Anna was diagnosed with her liver disease I thought I was the wrong mom, God chose the wrong mom for something so big. Too young, not smart enough, and definitely not mentally strong enough. God gives us what we can handle, even when we don't think we can. He gives us the strength to.

Aliki2006 said...

This was so beautiful! I just e-mailed you...

Thanks for sharing this...

Kellan said...

Hi Hetha - hope you are having a good weekend. Always nice to see you! Take care. Kellan

Tammy and Parker said...

This truly is one of my favorites.

Tammy and Parker